At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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