He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
