My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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