somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
