Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
