Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
