you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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