take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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