so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
