Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
