you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
