i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
