i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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