i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
