if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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