oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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