He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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