I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
