batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
