all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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