We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
