The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am spending my child support on dildos
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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