I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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