No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
