I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
