She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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