the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
