Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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