i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
