this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
