she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
