I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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