If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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