I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
