I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
