Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
