Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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