some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
