Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
