Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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