oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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