it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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