whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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