one two three fourrrrnication!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so let's talk penis.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
