all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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