i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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