this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
