is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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