it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
