SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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