How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
