meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
