i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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