If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How does one acquire holy water?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
